DONT PANdemIC!

by Robynne Allison Fletcher

(How to) Get ready for the next one:

The Rules

Rule 1) – If you haven’t already got one, get a dog! The family will be arguing over who will take the pooch for a walk, not discussing who has already done it last.

Rule 2) – Make sure you need the type of Personal Protective Equipment (PPE) which was over-ordered last time – there will be a cheap and plentiful supply somewhere.

Rule 3) – Ensure you have an adequate supply of toilet paper. No-one knows why, but it will continue to be in short supply for some weeks to come.

Rule 4)- No run on soap so far – who discovered that treasured product? We are lucky, too, to have water and electricity as well as refuse collection (a big thank you to utility workers).

Rule 5) – Avoid becoming ill or having pre-arranged surgery in the pipeline. All hands will be diverted to build and staff new facilities.

Rule 6) – Check you have no holiday booked. Only fruit and vegetable pickers will be allowed to fly in (from famine-affected areas).

Rule 7) – There will be no DIY, as no-one can purchase the requisite tools, paint or wallpaper among other things (Not sure the reason for this one).

Rule 8) – Be thankful that, finally, those potholes and cracked pavements are receiving priority treatment.

Rule 9) - Stay under 70, eat fish and pre-order a job lot of HRT.

Rule 10) On a serious note – STAY SAFE and slim – until we meet again:-)

Photo: by Carole Railton (copyright). To survive the pandemic, we must follow certain rules